Actually, this article is incorrect. Jason the Potato was indeed violated last june, when two members of Black Hole decided that he needed a wash. They proceded to abduct him and escort him to the Round Pond, where they threw him in. Unfortunately Jason the potato weighed about the same as both of his assailents put together, and as he went in he grabed them and his momentum was sufficient to pull them into the pond with him. The resultant splash was heard for some distance around, and some astonished passers-by got a little wet.