A person who has become helplessly addicted to the blood-boiling fury or chest-hurting laughter Live!'s anonymous discussion boards create.
Symptoms of Liveoholism!
If you think you may be becoming a Liveoholic!, have a look at the following symptoms to see how far gone you are.
- Level 1: You check Live! once or twice a week, to catch up on news and discussion
- Level 2: You've signed up to the RSS feed, but still check discussion once or twice a week
- Level 3: You've started posting under your own name - bitching anonymously is cowardly
- Level 4: You leave Live! open in a window/tab all day, hitting refresh every couple of hours
- Level 5: You look at Live! at least as often as Facebook
- Level 6: You spend most of your time in front of your computer refreshing the Live! front page. You spend more time on Live! than revising and your grades are dropping fast.
- Level 7: You've started bitching anonymously, but just this once
- Level 8: You've set Live! as your home page.
- Level 9: Your "anonymous" name occurs in discussions more frequently than your real name
- Level 10: You've had a photo, comment or random rant published and you aren't even a Live! reporter
- Level 11: You're a Live! reporter
- Level 12: You are, have been or will be a Live! Editor
The first step in recovering from Liveaholism! is admitting that you suffer from this serious disease. To help with this process, we have a List of Liveoholics! - current students can log in and add themselves to this list.
- Levels 1-4: You are not yet seriously addicted and are probably not involved in the union. RUN AWAY NOW!
- Levels 5-7: You are becoming addicted, both to Live! and the internal workings of Imperial College Union. The future is bleak, and more serious addiction is likely to follow. Cold turkey is your only hope.
- Levels 8-11: You are beyond help. You will spend the rest of your College days (and several years afterwards) relentlessly refreshing Live!, waiting for the next bitching session to start. Your only hope is to unplug your internet connection and sit in a dark room for several years.
- Level 12: Even unplugging your internet connection will not help you now. Seemingly every hack, loser and disagreeable person in the "student movement" has your mobile phone number. Every party you attend will see Liveoholics! begging for controversial articles to generate more bitching, in order to feed their insatiable appetite. THERE IS NO ESCAPE.