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Millen, James

16 Jun 2007 14:53

Born in 1985 in Dorset, England to moderately attractive parents. By the age of 16 he had learnt and forgotten more languages than thought possible; learnt, mastered and invented various musical instruments; been shortlisted for the Nobel Peace Prize for his work in settling many farmer squabbles in the West Country without being pitchforked.

In 2003, after much consideration, he chose to live a mortal life and began a degree in Physics at Imperial College. Hoping to sell some of his more "unusual" musical instruments to someone in order to pay for his infamous champagne binges he stumbled upon the Alternative Music Society. In this band of musoes and high-brow friends of inharmony and atonality he found adequate company. In 2004/05 he became chair of said society and began the musical revolution at Imperial. Not settling just for music, he decided to begin a social revolution by becoming Social Clubs Committee chair (all the more remarkable considering his hatred of religions, art and flagrant racism). His work not complete, he resumed the role of SCC chair in 2006/07 and continued to cut through all the bureaucratic squalour that the Union continues to throw his way.

His awards include Union Full Colours, Union Fellowship, and the NME Godlike Genius Award (which he refused to accept due to his hatred of IPC Media, they then gave the award to erm, U2 or someone, whatever). His posture is imposing, his demeanour friendly and approachable and his penis blessed in girth and still growing.

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