Live! has just received an email from a group calling themselves the ‘Black Hole’ and claiming to be the RCS mascotry team. Despite the fact that the RCS faculty has yet to be formed it seems that a group of its soon to be students have taken it upon themselves to bring a preemptive start to mascotry games between the RCS and CGCU.
Their message read as follows (with a few notes inserted where appropriate):
"On the 23rd of November 2005, the first mascotry raid in 3 years took place. The RCS Black Hole Squad had been slowly recruiting and training a team of rebels, preparing to launch a strike deep into the heart of the intergalactic Guilds Empire…”
Just a few points with regard to this statement. Firstly the CGCU mascots Bolt and Spanner have been involved in quite a few incidences of mascotry over the last eighteen months so this is hardly the first mascotry raid in 3 years even if it is the first from the RCS since its dissolution. Secondly the item stolen from the CGCU office today was Spanner MkII which is not an official faculty mascot at all and is simply another item of CGCU property. It is however laudable that the scientist have once again become interested in inter-faculty mascotry and they should be praised fir their attempt. With that in mind this reporter feels we should play along a little further…
“…The Black Hole, frustrated that after 3 weeks of covert intelligence gathering they had got no-where decided to adopt a 'shock and awe' policy. At 2pm, four brave scientists donned the RCS blazers, loaded their water pistols, and cocked their silly string cans. They had been mentally preparing themselves, pushing their bodies to their anerobic limits at high altitude training since the news of the Nat Sci merger. They had only one thing on their minds - to end the C+G dominion over mascotry. Psyching themselves up for a battle, they burst into the heart of the C+G Empire, the Office itself… “
In this reporters opinion, the sight of four geeky scientists (especially ones who cannot spell anaerobic) wearing badly fitting purple striped blazers and brandishing party shop cans of silly string and plastic guns filled with water is neither shocking nor awe-inspiring, merely rather funny. At least it could be said they made an effort.
“…Met by mild resistance (a bemused year rep who said 'Ok then') they acted with efficiency that would make any German proud. Two Scientists went straight for Spanner MkII, wrapping him in a blanket while the other two secured the side room and quelled any chance of a counter-attack. The entire place was searched for further mascots, until the untimely entrance of a certain Ex C+G President. The Black Hole has mercy, and decided to spare his life in return for a promise to secure information on the whereabouts of Theta MkIV. As suddenly as they had arrived, they vanished - jubilant with the first procurement of a mascot by Scientists for some time...”
Reports indicate the thorough search by the RCS ‘rebels’ consisted of no more than a cursory glance around the room and on being informed the item they were holding was not actually a mascot at all, their only response was of indifference before simply departing with it.
“…Perhaps giddy on the drug of success, they decided to press on to another Guilds outpost, the RCS Motor Garage. They held the place up, and began to interrogate the Jez Chair without prejudice. He cracked under the pressure, and let slip a vital peice of information that has been relayed back to the RCS Intelligence Corps for further processing...”
Live! sources indicate that the Jez chair was completely unphased by his ‘ordeal’ and indeed this reporter believes the scientists in question merely mistook his laughter at their attempts to coerce him as ‘cracking under pressure’.
“…The hold-up came to an end, when Guilds re-inforcements manned the water hose and took aim at the intredpid band of hardy RCS warriors. Dodging the spray with uncanny agility, they returned hastily to base for tea and medals. Ok, it was just tea.. but anyway, the Scientists are back in town, and are here to stay..."
This reporter witnessed the ‘hasty’ return to base of this ‘intrepid band of hardy RCS warriors’ at lunchtime whilst dining in the splendour of the SAF café. It has to be said however that at the time the impression was more of four badly dressed persons bimbling into the SAF building foyer whilst none too discretely waving a spanner about. The ‘base’ referred to was none other than the LifeSci ‘office’ where the ‘rebels’ took their time secreting away the spanner….. in full view of the world.
"...At the time of press, the Black Hole were still undecided as to exactly what to do with Spanner MkII. In an interesting twist, no ransom has been issued; only contact details were left for the Trojan Horse. This writer fears that the Round Pond may claim the life of another College mascot unless they are contacted soon..."
It appears that whilst the soon to be members of the RCS are a keen bunch, they have a lot still to learn about the game of mascotry (not to mention spelling) before they are taken too seriously by the established players. Indeed there has been rumour of a paper being submitted for the next council meeting suggesting that all official mascotry teams attend some form of mass briefing on the appropriate rules, regulations and code of conduct (maybe even a dress code?) surrounding mascotry so as to avoid any problems arising.
Nonetheless it seems that even before its reincarnation the RCS has begun to take an active role in inter-faculty rivalry. Watch this space for further developments as once again the game is well and truly afoot.
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