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Sneaky Scientist Steal

Nov 23 2005 18:37
Revolving Gnome
Spanner MkII was today stolen from the CGCU office in broad daylight by a group of scientists????
The RCS 'Rebels' as they made they're escape. Also shown: the logo of the RCS "Bleck Hole"

Live! has just received an email from a group calling themselves the ?Black Hole? and claiming to be the RCS mascotry team. Despite the fact that the RCS faculty has yet to be formed it seems that a group of its soon to be students have taken it upon themselves to bring a preemptive start to mascotry games between the RCS and CGCU.

Their message read as follows (with a few notes inserted where appropriate):

"On the 23rd of November 2005, the first mascotry raid in 3 years took place. The RCS Black Hole Squad had been slowly recruiting and training a team of rebels, preparing to launch a strike deep into the heart of the intergalactic Guilds Empire??

Just a few points with regard to this statement. Firstly the CGCU mascots Bolt and Spanner have been involved in quite a few incidences of mascotry over the last eighteen months so this is hardly the first mascotry raid in 3 years even if it is the first from the RCS since its dissolution. Secondly the item stolen from the CGCU office today was Spanner MkII which is not an official faculty mascot at all and is simply another item of CGCU property. It is however laudable that the scientist have once again become interested in inter-faculty mascotry and they should be praised fir their attempt. With that in mind this reporter feels we should play along a little further?

??The Black Hole, frustrated that after 3 weeks of covert intelligence gathering they had got no-where decided to adopt a 'shock and awe' policy. At 2pm, four brave scientists donned the RCS blazers, loaded their water pistols, and cocked their silly string cans. They had been mentally preparing themselves, pushing their bodies to their anerobic limits at high altitude training since the news of the Nat Sci merger. They had only one thing on their minds - to end the C+G dominion over mascotry. Psyching themselves up for a battle, they burst into the heart of the C+G Empire, the Office itself? ?

In this reporters opinion, the sight of four geeky scientists (especially ones who cannot spell anaerobic) wearing badly fitting purple striped blazers and brandishing party shop cans of silly string and plastic guns filled with water is neither shocking nor awe-inspiring, merely rather funny. At least it could be said they made an effort.

??Met by mild resistance (a bemused year rep who said 'Ok then') they acted with efficiency that would make any German proud. Two Scientists went straight for Spanner MkII, wrapping him in a blanket while the other two secured the side room and quelled any chance of a counter-attack. The entire place was searched for further mascots, until the untimely entrance of a certain Ex C+G President. The Black Hole has mercy, and decided to spare his life in return for a promise to secure information on the whereabouts of Theta MkIV. As suddenly as they had arrived, they vanished - jubilant with the first procurement of a mascot by Scientists for some time...?

Reports indicate the thorough search by the RCS ?rebels? consisted of no more than a cursory glance around the room and on being informed the item they were holding was not actually a mascot at all, their only response was of indifference before simply departing with it.

??Perhaps giddy on the drug of success, they decided to press on to another Guilds outpost, the RCS Motor Garage. They held the place up, and began to interrogate the Jez Chair without prejudice. He cracked under the pressure, and let slip a vital peice of information that has been relayed back to the RCS Intelligence Corps for further processing...?

Live! sources indicate that the Jez chair was completely unphased by his ?ordeal? and indeed this reporter believes the scientists in question merely mistook his laughter at their attempts to coerce him as ?cracking under pressure?.

??The hold-up came to an end, when Guilds re-inforcements manned the water hose and took aim at the intredpid band of hardy RCS warriors. Dodging the spray with uncanny agility, they returned hastily to base for tea and medals. Ok, it was just tea.. but anyway, the Scientists are back in town, and are here to stay..."

This reporter witnessed the ?hasty? return to base of this ?intrepid band of hardy RCS warriors? at lunchtime whilst dining in the splendour of the SAF caf?. It has to be said however that at the time the impression was more of four badly dressed persons bimbling into the SAF building foyer whilst none too discretely waving a spanner about. The ?base? referred to was none other than the LifeSci ?office? where the ?rebels? took their time secreting away the spanner?.. in full view of the world.

"...At the time of press, the Black Hole were still undecided as to exactly what to do with Spanner MkII. In an interesting twist, no ransom has been issued; only contact details were left for the Trojan Horse. This writer fears that the Round Pond may claim the life of another College mascot unless they are contacted soon..."

It appears that whilst the soon to be members of the RCS are a keen bunch, they have a lot still to learn about the game of mascotry (not to mention spelling) before they are taken too seriously by the established players. Indeed there has been rumour of a paper being submitted for the next council meeting suggesting that all official mascotry teams attend some form of mass briefing on the appropriate rules, regulations and code of conduct (maybe even a dress code?) surrounding mascotry so as to avoid any problems arising.

Nonetheless it seems that even before its reincarnation the RCS has begun to take an active role in inter-faculty rivalry. Watch this space for further developments as once again the game is well and truly afoot.

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Discussion about “Sneaky Scientist Steal”

The comments below are unmoderated submissions by Live! readers. The Editor accepts no liability for their content, nor for any offence caused by them. Any complaints should be directed to the Editor.
1. Sid   
Nov 23 2005 18:53

Dear All,

in this season of festivities and mascotry I am delighted to see what the potential "RCSU" is all about, I would like to inform all that from this afternoon onwards access to the City & Guilds office is forbidden to all members of the "RCS" and "RCSU" unless accompanied by Guilds-men/women.

Furthermore, a paper submitted to tommorrow's council will mandate all FU/CSC chairs to clearly identify mascots they lay claim to and what their status is violate/inviolate. I would also like to invite all who are interested in Mascotry to a presentation organised by CGCU on the topic, date to be announced soon.

In the end I would like to stress that can we restrict mascotry to "mascots" and not shields/tankards/hats or anything that has C&G on it.

Nov 23 2005 19:08

"like to stress that can we restrict"


like to stress that we should...

like to say that we must...

like to ask that we...

but you definitely can't stress a question like that. In fact, you've said "can we" but you haven't even ended with a question-mark! I expect better grammar in Presidential Dictats in future!

Nov 23 2005 19:35

Members of the Black Hole.

You have stolen the wrong mascot - in case you didn't realise - Spanner is made of Brass and weighs 64lb - not mild steel which is rusty and weighs about 20lb.

Next they will pop down to Homebase - buy a bolt and claim they have captured Bolt!

All I can say is - unlucky - and don't forget that all mascots in our possesion will be appearing this term as per the rules of mascotry.

Nov 23 2005 19:44

Dear C&G

I think a get together to discuss the rules and traditions of mascotry is a very good idea, just to clarrify the rules of the game for all.

We at the black hole borrowed spanner mk2 to show our intentions and show that the black hole is strong again. It was our first mission for a long long time, but you have to give us merit for our effort.

we hope the RCS will rise pheonix like from the flames and once again be strong

Long Live Mascotry

Nov 24 2005 00:56

So it appears that the creation of natural sciences has caused us to have to do more than simply just mock engineers randomly. So much effort...

Nov 24 2005 23:29

I haven't read the whole article but that bold typeface is hurting my eyes!

Nov 25 2005 09:40

Well when the Live! redevelopment is over there will hopefully be an option to use italics....however bold was the only viable substitute in this instance.

Nov 26 2005 17:41

HeHe. Well done RCS Black Hole team.

Nov 27 2005 01:04

The RCS Black Hole issued a request for a Parley (on MSN) with all interested parties. We sent an email to the C+G president, RSM President and the RAG Chair. No response has yet been received.

The Black Hole is becoming restless. They wish to have ownership of thier mascot once more. Theta was stolen, as an inviolate mascot when no-one cared for it. It should be returned to the Black Hole team at once, now that it is re-formed.

To this end, the RCS Black Hole is investing in two tins of purple and black paint, and is not afraid to use them on Spanner MkII.

This will then be inaugrated as a temporary RCS mascot until Theta is retreived.

The Black Hole has spoken.

The Trojan Horse has been warned.

Nov 27 2005 12:29

It is my understanding that the real RCS would dump their mascot in a pond somewhere if it were ever violated. Is this new Black Hole "die hard" enough?

11. Random   
Nov 27 2005 17:11

To be honest the large piece of steel is nearly entirely useless - it also needs a good repaint, and I am sure that purple and black would be a good undercoat.

Nov 27 2005 17:36

Yes, that was true when the real RCS existed. However, much has changed since the dissolution of the RCSU and there is no longer the money available to forge a new mascot. Nor should we have to, as Theta was never violated from the RCSU, merely stolen from an uncaring PhySci Exec. in 2003.

The people holding it are breaking the law, the same as they are with Davy the RSM mascot as it was also inviolate at the time of theft.

13. Anon   
Nov 27 2005 18:14

Black hole, why don't you get together with the RSM and press come form of criminal charges? The RSM claim to know who is holding Davy and I'm gussing they want it back quite badly.

14. Random   
Nov 27 2005 18:40

I think that quite frankily people are not enetering into the spirit of things. I believe the C&G President is arranging a talk on mascotry which will make all rules extremely clear.

As for theft - that is highly amusing - seeing as Spanner was "stolen" by the RSM, the case there would be less then watertight, and the RCS have no minutes to say Theta was declared inviolate.....

People should have some fun - and take up the challenge that Guilds have set them - but trying to ransom a random piece of steel in the shape of a spanner is quite franily lame. It is is a bit like Guilds taking an RCS jacket and ransoming it... it's just not cricket. Either play properly children or don't play at all :-)

Nov 27 2005 20:25


Again, I am forced to point out the status of Theta. Firstly, my dear "Random", have you actually been to the College Archives, that's where all the RCSU paperwork is? I doubt very much you have. So saying there are no minutes when what you actually mean is you're too lazy to find the minutes is actually quite sad really.

As for the actual status of heta - it is owned and under the care of Imperial College Union, not the Faculty of Physical Sciences or the Faculty of Life Sciences Union. Now, as of 1st August, the legal entities known as the Royal College of Science Union, the Royal Scholl of Mibnes Union, and the City & Guilds College Union ceased to exist - the were replacerd with the rather unimaginateively title Faculty Student Associations. All agrrements between them cease to apply, incluuding the Mascotry agreements. No new Mascotry agreements have yet to be signed - oh dear. that means Mascotry can't take place. So I guess everything that's been happening recently is just theft. There is, unfortunately no argument about this, as Theta was neither declared under the supervusion of either Faculty - so they couldn't decalre it a violate Mascot - and neither did ICU start to indulge in violate Mascotry. You can talk about minutes till the cows come home but frankly, it dosen't mean anything.

Now then, as for the Hypocirsy of most people in guilds who seem to think that because they're s*upid they can squawk about minutes and get away with theft, whilst complaining when there own stuff is taken - of well guess guilds have no leg to stand on either, but then they've been hoping around for over 12 months now, And before anyone says that I'm against mascotry - I'm not. I just believe that it should be played to the rules involving violate mascots. Personallly, I'd rather pay (and I'm sure other RCS Alumni would) to see the s**t that took Theta having something happen to them (such as Round-Ponding)- suggestions on a Post Card please.

So now then Trojan Horse, if you still believe that you can get a Ransom, the person you shoyuld adress it to is either Mr. Simon Matthews, Deputy President (Clubs & Societies) or Mr. Timothy Aplin, Deputy President (Finance & Services), whichever seems best suited. Both can be found at Imperial College Union, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB.


Nov 28 2005 00:55

Part of the problem with mascotry, even when it was official, was that it was taken too seriously. I remember signing an agreement with the then Guilds VP about mascotry. It felt like I was signing a contract!

There are a lot of things being said, and I sympathise with many of the points of view that have been expressed. However while the mascots concerned may not have been violate, taking them was not theft , as there was not intention to deprive (i.e. no-one has taken a mascot on a permanent basis - they will be returned eventually).

Mascotry was one activity that interested students. But it was not the only one. If the RCSU is indeed reformed and wishes to regain it's former glory days, it should have mascotry as an activity, but it certainly shouldn't either be a sole activity, or even that important, it just needs to be a bit of fun, along with other interesting things offered by the CCUs.

Nov 28 2005 11:15

Dear Mr Piggott,

Has it not occured to you that Theta has been far safer in Guilds hands than the mess that is PSU and LSU.

Also have you used your brain to consider that Guilds could have done it in an attempt to revive mascotry??? Which appears to be working - look at the interest now!!!

Nov 28 2005 13:27

"Random", again you need to get you your facts straight.

Firstly, that Theta has been safer in Guilds hands than in ICU hands. Well, as I actually used people I knew were involved in Trojan Horse to try and secure the return of this item, it was very annoying when, after finally admitting that they took Theta, that they didn't know where it was. Imagine that, losing a large lump of metal. Very careless you must agree. Theta therefore hasn't been safe in the hands of guilds then.

Secondly, that Guilds were interested in reviveing Mascotry. Well, no Ransom note was left, and no one attempted to get in touch with anybody by letter, e-mail or phone. This is therefore showing how it is not an attempt of Mascotry, rather a cowardly act whereby they took something that didn't belong to them. It is only in the last Month where something that starts to look like a ransom has finally been delivered. This is not in the spirit of Mascotry, which the scientists seem to have as they sent a Ransom demand almost immediately. I am glad that the scientists are taking an interest, but feel that Guilds did nothing to get people interested.

Now then, if guilds actually want people to be interested in Mascotry, might I suggest that they issue a ransom note to the correct personage, either the DP(C&S) or the DP(F&S) as I have said before.

Nov 28 2005 23:48

In response to Random Student:

"Has it not occured to you that Theta has been far safer in Guilds hands than the mess that is PSU and LSU"

What exactly do you mean by 'mess'?

And from today's news about Davy, it would seem that Guilds' hands are about as safe as David James'!

Nov 29 2005 00:24

This is getting ridiculous. Arguing over who a mascot is "safer" with? We're student organisations for crying out loud, of course we can't keep things safe! If we could, we wouldn't have to finish our degrees to make a decent wage.

In response to Black Hole, I haven't received a SINGLE communication from you, so no wonder you didn't receive a response.

Mascotry is all well and good when it encourages a little lighthearted competition (and dare I say, a little fundraising), but to accuse one another of theft and to say that it doesn't count if you don't steal the "right" mascot is, quite frankly, petty and ridiculous. I for one can't wait until the rules have been agreed on and everyone can get off their high horses (and I do mean everyone).

Since the hefty ransom Guilds payed at the start of term, everyone has been making excuses. How about getting out there and raising some bloody money to get your mascots back? It isn't that hard, we'll even help you out, we have plenty of ideas, and access to much expertise on the fundraising front.

I currently have a cheque written from my personal account to get the lot of you pied during RAG week (and I know who you are).

21. Sid   
Nov 29 2005 13:39

The Davy lamp was lost by the Trojan Horse not Guilds.

Nov 29 2005 17:43

Your events calendar is wrong - it is a LifeSci pub crawl and you do not need tickets!! Please amend it posthaste

23. Sid   
Nov 29 2005 17:47

Dear LifeSci AAO,

"our" calendar is open to everyone in college, the entry you refer to was added by your President, please speak with her.

Your apology is accepted.

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