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Research Centre Heading to Silwood

Apr 01 2007 00:31
Ashley Brown
A new telescope is to be built at Silwood as part of a departmental reshuffle.
Proposed location of the new telescope

Live! has seen confidential documents showing that Imperial is to move its Centre for Theoretical Astrology to Silwood Park. The plans, which include a new telescope, coincide with the decommissioning of the College's nuclear reactor. The vacated space at South Kensington could be used to provide additional space for the new Institute for Climate Change.

The proposal carries a lot of weight behind it

Currently in the Department of Metaphysics, it was felt that the five star research centre was now big enough to become a department in its own right, particularly with an expansion on the cards. The £5m project will involve a conjunction with a group at Brunel University, meaning the extra space at Silwood is a priority.

Re-housing the department and acquiring a small number of world-leading staff from Brunel makes sense in academic terms
Confidential Briefing Document

The relocation will see the department's 4 Professors, 6 lecturers and 3 PhD students move out of South Kensington, with it foretold that they will be joined by a further four newly recruited PhD students.

A number of concerns may hold up the plans, particularly the provision of high performance computing services at the satellite campus. Planning permission for the telescope may also prove to be a problem, particularly given College's recent bad luck with the library. Estates are not aware of the views of the local authority to the proposed siting of the telescope, however members of the Centre are said to be much more certain of the outcome of any Planning Application.

Professor Meg was said to be "unsurprised" at the move

The decommissioning of the research reactor is expected to free up additional space for groups currently at Silwood, with the prospect of additional expansion as the process continues. The relocation project is expected to take 18-24 lunar cycles, but does not include the relocation of the necromancer, which will remain at South Kensington.

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Discussion about “Research Centre Heading to Silwood”

The comments below are unmoderated submissions by Live! readers. The Editor accepts no liability for their content, nor for any offence caused by them. Any complaints should be directed to the Editor.
Apr 01 2007 00:46
 

April Fool.

Apr 01 2007 01:17
 

damn i wanted to be the first one to say that.

surely you can come up with a more convincing story Ashley? necromancer?

Apr 01 2007 01:24
 

As Governor of San Seriffe I am extremely disappointed that Imperial has abandoned its programme of investment for the observatories on Mount Kern.

We have offered tax (and page) breaks to encourage astrology research and bio-thaumaturgical investment in our islands. Despite the world-class Navel Observatory facilities on Mount Kern, Imperial has sadly decided to reject our bid.

Apr 01 2007 17:25
 

Live! has, indeed, seen this document - marked confidential - and it has been presented to a meeting with high-level management, which the ICU President attended.

This article is a true reflection of the content of the document, which refers to the disposition of the necromancer after the relocation it proposes.

Apr 01 2007 21:44
 

Even worse than the traditional Google hoax this year... And we all know that the Google one was a pile of s**t.

Apr 01 2007 22:02
 

What? Both the Google ones were funny. They put more effort into their hoaxes than some people/companies put into their real products...

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