Last night the Representation and Welfare Board, chaired by Deputy President (Education & Welfare) Kirsty Patterson, finalised plans for this year's SHAG Week. Events during the week, running from 26th-30th November, will be supporting the Children With AIDS Charity (CWAC) and Positively Healthy UK.
On a local level, the thrust of the campaign will call for improved sexual health provision on the South Kensington campus and condom machines to be placed in halls.
The Reynolds Bar at Charing Cross will play host to the first events, with Speed Dating on Monday evening and Comedy Night on Tuesday. South Kensington will see events for the rest of the week, with a "Flash Mob" and Cake Sale on Upper Dalby Court at Wednesday lunchtime. Thursday evening will see a debate on the topic "This house believes that the law preventing illegal immigrants and failed asylum seekers from free HIV treatment should be abolished". Friday lunchtime will see an "engineering competition", although no-one seems to know what that entails.
The week will reach its climax on Friday with a dual-header of events, comprising an Ann Summers party for the girls and pole dancing for the boys. Those Imperial guys keen to see what a real woman looks like in underwear will have to settle for the pole dancing: Ann Summers ban men from their events, something which the Union has concluded is in line with equal opportunities policy. The risk of harassment from hormonally charged geeks is thought to have been a contributing factor in the decision.