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Munkey Contemplating Suicide

May 03 2002 16:46
Simon Scrapmetal
The C&GCU Munkey is contemplating taking its own life in the wake of the complete collapse of ITV Digital.
Many C&GCU officers have become concerned about the dubious company the C&G Munkey has been keeping.

The C&GCU Munkey, after being out of the media spotlight for over a month, has come forward to admit that it is contemplating taking its own life after the collapse of ITV Digital earlier this week. The troubled broadcaster finally shut down transmission of its pay TV channels at 7am on Wednesday morning. While Munkey is assured a future, having been adopted as an unofficial C&G mascot just prior to the company entering liquidation, the depressed-looking stuffed animal has been suffering from a great sense of regret that it failed to do more to avert the catastrophe.

Recent visitors to the C&G office have seen the munkey sitting forlornly on the side of the office reception desk, staring vacantly out into space. Several C&G officers have expressed concern for the munkey's welfare, especially taking into account the dubious company that the tortured animal seems to be keeping in its spare time.

Some officers have also expressed some concern for the judgement of C&G Treasurer Oliver Pell, the poor individual who originally donated the Munkey to the Union. Mr Pell purchased a year's pre-paid subscription to ITV Digital a scant three weeks before the company was put in administration...

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Discussion about “Munkey Contemplating Suicide”

The comments below are unmoderated submissions by Live! readers. The Editor accepts no liability for their content, nor for any offence caused by them. Any complaints should be directed to the Editor.
May 03 2002 22:02
 

5 weeks!

May 03 2002 23:11
 

Since when was the RCS President a CGCU Officer?

3. kevin   
May 04 2002 00:24
 

"The cider firm Diamond White and the supermarket KwikSave have both offered Monkey new work ..."

guardian.co.uk

Ebay Munkeys

May 04 2002 05:38
 

Oh dear, oh dear. You *really* missed the point of that caption, didn't you Andy!

Perhaps Munkey should consider going into politics. I'm sure his larger cousin H'Angus the monkey who was elected Mayor of Hartlepool on Thursday can give him a few pointers!

5. John   
May 04 2002 14:34
 

Unexpected birthday present from ITV when I lost all my channels- except in a nice gesture they gave me ITV Sport for free (the channel that got us in this mess in the first place).

I hate sport anyway, but did they really except to build a business plan around people paying £8 to watch a Division Two match? Idiots- Never mind destroying capitalism, lets just put more people like that in senior positions.

Oh well, gotta go- it's cup final day and the shops will be nice and quiet.

May 04 2002 15:10
 

Shops will be nice and quiet - so you can go and smash up a few McDonalds, eh, JC?

Why do the anti-capitalists think that smashing up shops will get them sympathy? If they are RIGHT then why don't they contest elections and get the mass of popular support they claim to represent to sweep them into Downing Street?

7. Sam   
May 05 2002 20:11
 

Simple...

voting is capitalist.

and the vast majority of people don't think that smashing up shops will gain anything for their cause, however the people with the good ideas who actually go to these events are usually ecclpised by the mindless thugs who hijack them.

anyway, they're not "shops", they retail manifestations of huge corporate conglomerates, feeding fat capitalist pigs ;o) - no offense intended

8. John   
May 06 2002 00:18
 

Andy,

Sure I've had this debate several times with you & lost, but it's nice to have you back!

Don't believe in smashing up shops, personally, although it makes damn good copy. Besides, if I wasn't ill and overworked I'd be at the Save The Tube and No To War demo, and I don't remember voting for war or tube privatisation. In fact, most of London turned out against that one, but Tony didn't seem to notice, hence all those angry people.

Does negate my earlier post, where I defined the three strands of protestors, and concluded that the people doing the smashing were not "anti-capitalists", but were probably Millwall fans a few days later if it gave them a chance to smash shit.

Besides, as a Conservative you believe that you're right. I believe that socialism is right. Neither of us have got our guys in Downing Street, have we?

9. stef   
May 07 2002 16:33
 

what a sweet picture...the nuclear family for the 21st century:)

May 10 2002 09:24
 

" If they are RIGHT then why don't they contest elections and get the mass of popular support they claim to represent to sweep them into Downing Street?"

  • -- Anything to sweep Blair out at the moment would be good...

Closedd This discussion is closed.

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