Muhammad Sa'id al-Sahhaf has been appointed as the new Union Clerk, it was announced last night.
The surprise appointment was made by the President, who said he was delighted with his newest member of staff.
"Muhammad Sa'id al-Sahhaf will be an excellent Union Clerk", he said in a press statement issued last night. "He was absolutely the right man for the job". However, one senior Union source informed this correspondent that the appointment is only provisional, with Mr Ganesh awaiting references from Mr al-Sahhaf's previous employer.
Mr al-Sahhaf started work this morning by holding a press conference for Imperial's student media in the Union Dining Hall. When asked by Live! about the forthcoming budget cuts for clubs and societies, he replied: "there will be no cuts. There will in fact be increases, increases for everyone". When it was put to him that several union officers had seen the budgets and the levels of cuts involved, he went on: "I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in appropriate time in the future how stupid they are and how they are pretending things which have never taken place".
Continuing his tirade he went on to decry those people who 'lied': "Lying is forbidden in ICU. President Sen Ganesh will tolerate nothing but truthfulness as he is a man of great honor and integrity. Everyone is encouraged to speak freely of the truths evidenced in their eyes and hearts."
When a journalist from IC Radio asked where the funding for the new Union Clerk position had come from, Mr al-Sahhaf screamed "I now inform you that you are too far from reality" before storming from the room.
Sen Ganesh is growing a moustache.

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