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The Year That Will Be ... 2007

Dec 22 2006 14:00
Ashley Brown
A mildly incoherent ramble about 2006 and some predictions about 2007.
Hic!

The Union is shut. College locks its doors until 2007 at 6pm tonight. Much Christmas spirit has been and will be consumed, particularly by the Live! Editor.

Unless someone sets fire to something, nothing much is going to happen until the New Year, so it's as good a time as any to take a brief look back at 2006 and take a guess about events in 2007.

Most Popular Articles in 2006

Half of the top 10 articles of the year are rather predictably NUS-related, although College's plan to build on the Queen's Lawn beats them all to the top spot. The numbers in brackets are page views for the article in question.

Removing NUS nonsense the following appear in the top 10:

So it seems stories involving the emergency services, transport and security are the most popular. Notable as the least popular of the "news" articles is UL After ULU Services, which only encouraged 174 views. It seems no-one really cares about ULU.

Predictions for 2007

Live! has borrowed Mystic Meg's crystal ball,,2004470001-156,00.html for a while. Sadly it's out of warranty, so the predictions may be slightly off.

Beit Quad Declares Independence from United Kingdom - Fresh from claiming credit for winning the NUS referendum, despite limited involvement, the Socialist Worker Student Society will declare Beit Quad an independent nation, with George Galloway as supreme ruler. Beit Quad will shortly thereafter be the target of a nuclear strike by the United States,,3-1616578,00.html.

New Furniture Arrives - the furniture destined for da Vinci's will finally arrive. Although two benches are currently in the bar, there is more to come. John Collins described its current whereabouts as "on a donkey somewhere between the Gobi Desert and Shanghai".

Sabb Killed by Goldfish - the career of one of the sabbs will come to a shocking end, as the under-fed fish in Union reception get too hungry.

Southside Rats Move In - the new Southside building will open, including "Sir Richard Sykes Hall". Rats will be the first residents, as they'll need to go somewhere when Linstead comes down.

Beit Core Finally Reopens - the central section of the Beit building will reopen. Oops, my mistake. That won't happen in 2007.

Ken Livingstone to be new Rector - College will announce that Ken Livingstone is to be the next Rector of Imperial College. All car parking spaces will immediately be converted to bike racks, while the institution is renamed "Education for London", EfL. South Kensington will also be renamed to "South Kensingstone". Ken will then appoint an American to run the College while he insults people in the media.

Faculty Building "Disappears" - Sick of constant meddling by College bureaucrats, annoyed academics will make the Faculty Building disappear. Sherfield, Chemistry and Civil Engineering will be next, as hiding the buildings is cheaper than building prettier ones in their place.

Nuclear Reactor at Wye - With Silwood's reactor due to be decommissioned and the plans for Wye scrapped, residents of the sleepy Kent village will get a nasty surprise. Re-introduced agricultural courses will be a flop, as there aren't many two-headed sheep in the wild.

Contributions to these predictions are always welcome, either on a Christmas Card or preferably using the form below.

In Conclusion

We hope we've kept you informed and entertained this year. From all of C&G Media Group, have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Back to the Christmas spirit...

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Discussion about “The Year That Will Be ... 2007”

The comments below are unmoderated submissions by Live! readers. The Editor accepts no liability for their content, nor for any offence caused by them. Any complaints should be directed to the Editor.
1. Pan   
Dec 22 2006 14:44
 

Re: disappearing buildings.

Compared to the abominations that EE and sherfield are, CivEng is not such a bad building! Actually among all the 60s - 70s IC buildings I always though that civeng was the most presentable!

Dec 22 2006 22:26
 

I predict a vote of no confidence in one of the sabbs.

Dec 22 2006 23:51
 

Not a death by hungry goldfish then?

4. cynic   
Dec 23 2006 18:11
 

just the one?

Dec 25 2006 13:36
 

Ooh, I like those predictions. They can make the year so much more interesting. When will Beit Quad start issuing citizenship? Will Beit be behind the disappearing of the Big Blue Cube? Can we use the nuclear power for awesome?

Dec 25 2006 20:17
 

That whisky picture is amazing! So clear and nice and I just want to grab and drink that stuff right now, hmmm I need to get out and do precisely that, i.e get hold of some whisky.

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See Also

  1. Lack of Respect?
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