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Another Year ... and the End is Nigh

Dec 20 2007 11:55
Ashley Brown
Eighteen months as editor still isn't enough and time is running out, but its the time of year to look at the past and the future.

Once again, the South Kensington campus is peaceful. The serene tranquillity is broken only by the whistle of the blue cube and the low electrical hum of energy being wasted. An occasional clatter is heard as security temporarily leave their doughnuts and hunt for dangerous students wanting a few more hours in the lab before everything is locked up. The Live! Editor has once again consumed too much alcohol, leading to mad ramblings about this year and some new predictions from the crystal ball to round off the week.

The glassware - a good(ish) photo at last!

But before the ramblings about past and present, some more serious comments... It's been a successful year all in all, especially now I've figured out how to get a reasonable picture of Live!'s glassware. This Christmas is a little sad however, as it will be my last as Live! Editor. By this time next year I should - all things going to plan - be heading out of Imperial and finally getting a proper job.

So the time has come to hand the site over: editing, writing, producing videos, taking photographs and managing the technical infrastructure. There's lots to do and Live! requires some dedicated people to do it. From next term we'll be holding planning and training meetings every week or so: if you fancy getting involved, especially if you're a hack, come along and learn how Live! is put together. Drop me an email on and join an award-winning team.

Looking Back...

Looking back over the last year, it would be great to say how many readers we have. The full power of Google claims that 75,000 people have read Live! in the past year, with 18,000 visiting more than 200 times. While those numbers are a little suspicious, what we can say with some certainty is that half a million pages have been served to real people. What have these people been reading? Here's the top 10 for 2007, where the number in brackets is the total number of views:

  1. Student Oyster Applications Online (32,598)
  2. Wye Blues: Only 10% Get 'Good' Degrees (5,031)
  3. NUS Student Discount Confusion (3,156)
  4. No Confidence Confirmed (1,908)
  5. Sabbatical Candidates: A Brief Introduction (1,807)
  6. Elections Results Announced (ish) (1,458)
  7. Mansions by Albert Hall Ablaze (1,388)
  8. NUS Conference Blog 2007 (1,354)
  9. NUS President Criticises 'Old Boys Club' Recruitment (1,342)
  10. DPGS Escapes With Censure (1,270)

Yes, rather ironically the number-one spot is occupied by an article from 2006 and quite possibly the most read Live! article ever. Hoardes of angry students, many of them not very bright, all coming to Live! to hurl abuse at TfL. The Wye debacle comes a rather pathetic second, but holds the top spot for most entertaining discussion of the year. Elections and NUS pop-up a couple of times, with the DPGS censure (and an associated rant about the bar) also having a double-header.

...And Looking Forward

Time now to gaze slightly incredulously into the crystal ball and present to you some exciting and wholly accurate predictions for 2008:

RSM Declares Independence - The Royal School of Mines CSC will declare independence from Guilds, only to be reminded that it wasn't part of Guilds in the first place. With the independent RSMU holding no positions on College committees and Guilds taking no notice of them, the first restructuring by the new Rector will come completely by surprise to the independent mines union. Geology teaching will transfer to Civil Engineering while ESE is closed. The merger of Mechanical Engineering and Aeronautics will be brought forward, with the new department also taking over Materials. With the last vestiges of the Royal School of Mines firmly gone, the Trustee Board will order the elimination of the RSM CSC to save costs so more awnings may be purchased. The miners will wonder if they should have tried harder to open a dialogue with Guilds rather than bitching on Live! all the time.

Boris Becomes Mayor - Boris Johnson will kick Red Ken out of City Hall, before abolishing free travel for children and those on benefits. Students in London on "proper" degrees will receive free travel, subsidised by those doing mickey-mouse degrees at the likes of Strand Poly and Bloomsbury Community College. However, Londoners will wonder what they've done as Boris forgets which city he's running and announces a new package of public transport improvements for Henley.

Guilds President Bludgeoned to Death - Someone will finally snap and bludgeon Guilds President Tristan Sherliker to death because of one sarcastic comment too many. Live!'s crystal ball was unable to determine whether the instrument delivering the final blow will be a large spanner, a big davy lamp, two pieces of a thermometer or a right-hook from the DPEW.

RCSU Kills Mascotry - The RCSU exec, miserable gits that they are, will determine that the best way to kill mascotry is to melt down Theta and make "RCSU pennies", in preparation for their future careers in banking. Mascotry will continue, however, as academics in Civil Engineering take to stealing the new RCSU mini-mascots. They are, after all, the best department at penny-pinching at Imperial.

Council Makes a Decision - Having made no decisions at all this term, nor taken a stand for or against anything, Council will finally do something next year. Unfortunately the big decision will be a vote on whether to make a decision, to which the decision will be to not make a decision at all.

The End

And with that, it's time to put the crystal ball back into its cupboard and wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a productive New Year.

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Discussion about “Another Year ... and the End is Nigh”

The comments below are unmoderated submissions by Live! readers. The Editor accepts no liability for their content, nor for any offence caused by them. Any complaints should be directed to the Editor.
Dec 21 2007 07:34

Was that also the sight of contractors emptying the marquee, prior to it being removed, that greeted me as I arrived this morning?

Dec 21 2007 11:28

Looks like it... and only a week late. The whole place has suddenly turned into a building site.

Dec 28 2007 11:48

Nice shot of the blue flame!

4. Miner   
Dec 28 2007 21:56

RSM Declares Independence section .... I'm hoping there is little truth behind these claims Ashley??

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