Payment instructions are at the end of this article.
RAG week is upon us and one of the many events that is being organised is the return of the infamous City & Guilds Hit Squad. For those of you who are still somehow oblivious to this tradition, it is rather simple. The Hit Squad will on request publicly humiliate any student, union officer/sabbatical or college staff of your choosing by 'flanning' (aka. custard pieing) them around campus.
So if there is anyone out there who you hold a grudge against, i.e. that lecturer who did not give you the marks that you deserved, or the union officer who would not give your club enough resources, rather than trying to think about the intricacies of a hugely clever and mind numbingly complex revenge attempt all by your lonesome, why not just pay a small fee to the Hit squad and have them take care of it for you. Obviously the price will depend on the position of the lucky target within the uni, with more incentive being required to encourage the hit squad to risk causing uproar and unrest around Imperial. The price list being as follows:-
- Student: £5
- Union officers: £15
- Senior (ICU President, FU Presidents, sabbaticals): £50
- Staff: £50
- Rector: All donations accepted
See the end of this article for payment instructions!
This year is your final chance to show a small amount of appreciation for all the work of Sir Richard Sykes over the last few years. The Hit squad will be accepting any and all donations to hit the Rector and are hoping to raise £1000. If everyone can just give a few pounds we will be well on our way. As the hit squad is renowned for staunch disregard for college policy and strained relations with staff members, they will no doubt again be stretching the rules to their utmost limits, so look out for their signs and stunts around campus this week.
So just remember make sure you email hitsquad@cgcu.net and flan that old adversary, who has undoubtedly caused you much undeserved hassle and anguish, before he manages to get you. If you are however one of those rare people who manage to live at harmony with the entirety of the college population then why not contribute a small amount to charity and give the Rector a send off he won't forget. Be aware though, students and lecturers alike, if you think there is anyone out there who might be willing to spend a few pounds to cause you a bit of grief, I would strongly advise you not to dress in your finest this week.
How to Arrange a Hit
Arranged Hits: If you'd like to arrange a hit on somebody, head over to the Hit Squad Payment Page and select the appropriate option - student, union officer, staff or faculty union/ICU President. Once you've paid, forward the email to hitsquad@cgcu.net with the name of, department of and best times to hit your target.
Donate to the Rector's Hit: If you'd like to help the Hit Squad reach their £1,000 target and flan the Rector, head to the Rector's Hit Donation Page and give us some cash.
You can login to the ICU website with your College username and password.
Alternatively, come to the Guilds Office, 340 Mech Eng, with your instructions and cold, hard cash.
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