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The Hit Squad is Back

Mar 03 2008 12:33
Matthew Taylor
The C&G Hit Squad is back and willing to do your dirty work, for one week only; if you want to settle an old score and give a small amount of money to RAG, send them a request at [email protected]!
Yes, its this photo of John James again. It really is that funny.

Payment instructions are at the end of this article.

RAG week is upon us and one of the many events that is being organised is the return of the infamous City & Guilds Hit Squad. For those of you who are still somehow oblivious to this tradition, it is rather simple. The Hit Squad will on request publicly humiliate any student, union officer/sabbatical or college staff of your choosing by 'flanning' (aka. custard pieing) them around campus.

Back where they belong!

So if there is anyone out there who you hold a grudge against, i.e. that lecturer who did not give you the marks that you deserved, or the union officer who would not give your club enough resources, rather than trying to think about the intricacies of a hugely clever and mind numbingly complex revenge attempt all by your lonesome, why not just pay a small fee to the Hit squad and have them take care of it for you. Obviously the price will depend on the position of the lucky target within the uni, with more incentive being required to encourage the hit squad to risk causing uproar and unrest around Imperial. The price list being as follows:-

  • Student: £5
  • Union officers: £15
  • Senior (ICU President, FU Presidents, sabbaticals): £50
  • Staff: £50
  • Rector: All donations accepted

See the end of this article for payment instructions!

This year is your final chance to show a small amount of appreciation for all the work of Sir Richard Sykes over the last few years. The Hit squad will be accepting any and all donations to hit the Rector and are hoping to raise £1000. If everyone can just give a few pounds we will be well on our way. As the hit squad is renowned for staunch disregard for college policy and strained relations with staff members, they will no doubt again be stretching the rules to their utmost limits, so look out for their signs and stunts around campus this week.

So just remember make sure you email and flan that old adversary, who has undoubtedly caused you much undeserved hassle and anguish, before he manages to get you. If you are however one of those rare people who manage to live at harmony with the entirety of the college population then why not contribute a small amount to charity and give the Rector a send off he won't forget. Be aware though, students and lecturers alike, if you think there is anyone out there who might be willing to spend a few pounds to cause you a bit of grief, I would strongly advise you not to dress in your finest this week.

How to Arrange a Hit

Arranged Hits: If you'd like to arrange a hit on somebody, head over to the Hit Squad Payment Page and select the appropriate option - student, union officer, staff or faculty union/ICU President. Once you've paid, forward the email to with the name of, department of and best times to hit your target.

Donate to the Rector's Hit: If you'd like to help the Hit Squad reach their £1,000 target and flan the Rector, head to the Rector's Hit Donation Page and give us some cash.

You can login to the ICU website with your College username and password.

Alternatively, come to the Guilds Office, 340 Mech Eng, with your instructions and cold, hard cash.

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Discussion about “The Hit Squad is Back”

The comments below are unmoderated submissions by Live! readers. The Editor accepts no liability for their content, nor for any offence caused by them. Any complaints should be directed to the Editor.
Mar 03 2008 14:12

Something amazing is going to happen tomorrow. Make sure you all are in early!!!!!!

Um Bungo

Mar 03 2008 14:24

I can't get the online payment to work. Link on the donation doesn't seem to be there. Is this just happening to me?

Mar 03 2008 14:32

It's happening to the 8 people who have bought membership of the "Live! News Website" club (which isn't real). Everyone else should have no problems. Get your significant others to buy if you're one of those 8 people...

Mar 03 2008 14:42

If you are one of the 8 affected and you want to hit your significant other, so can't make them pay for it, make an appropriate donation through here:

Drop an email to and I'll get the money moved.

Mar 03 2008 14:46

Damn you Ashley now I'm rumbled!

Mar 03 2008 14:55

How much are non-presidential Sabbatical Officers?

And what counts as a Union Officer? Any member of a club committee or just ex-officio members of Council?

Mar 03 2008 15:09

Presidents means- The President, the 3 Sabbs, Felix Editor and 3 FU Presidents.

Union officers (small "o") means - All those on Council and Chair of any committee/club/society. Also Ex-Presidents are here.

Any other student is ?5.

Mar 03 2008 17:25

Contract 1: John James

Hit: 1712

By: Potential Customer (Now a real Customer)

Cost: ?5

Mar 03 2008 17:30


I'm looking for people to help me get back that person who got me. It's ?50, help.


Mar 03 2008 17:34


Mar 03 2008 21:54

So are these worth ?15 or ?50...

Mar 03 2008 21:59


Mar 03 2008 22:32

For the photos you will need to get hold of AAO and VPA of CGCU. (Grissman and Milli)

14. haha   
Mar 03 2008 22:34

JJ you really are becoming the "poster boy" for the hit squad.

Mar 04 2008 00:16

Anyone notice how convienient it is that the hit squad are active and Taylor is out of the country....any chance we are allowed to delay attacks?

16. xd   
Mar 04 2008 00:55

In this day and age surely hit squad can get in together to record these hits and put them up on live!/youtube. Is this being done? If not I'm sure stoic would be all too happy to help (I'm not from stoic, this does not constitute an offer)

Mar 04 2008 09:30

To convienient; I think we can, we might need to raise a little more money for it, when does he return?

To xd; We will get photos and film. Don't worry.


Mar 04 2008 11:06

What's with the ?5 delivery charge on donations!?

Is it a sneaky ploy to get us to donate more or is Beit Towers taking a cut of the charity money?

Mar 04 2008 11:08

There shouldn't be a ?5 delivery charge...

Mar 04 2008 11:12

I agree there shouldn't be a delivery charge However, following the link given for donations to the rector a delivery charge of ?5 is clearly added...

Is it possible to donate in another manner that does not require this delivery charge??

Mar 04 2008 12:20

"I'm looking for people to help me get back that person who got me. It's ?50, help."

That's a high price on my head. Surely that means you think I am one of only 7 people. I wouldn't narrow it down so far at this stage. You may pay back the wrong person and I imagine she wouldn't be very happy.

Mar 04 2008 12:32

Follow the link in post 4, then email and with your instructions. I'll move the money from RCS Motor to Live!...

We're trying to get the delivery charge problem fixed.

Mar 04 2008 13:01

Payment is now fixed, the delivery charge is gone!

Mar 04 2008 16:15

I paid the delivery charge on my hit.. I hope the money still goes to charity..

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