It seems to happen every year: our sabbatical officers complain they spend so long in College meetings that they have no time to actually do any work. While cynics might suggest that's just an excuse for under-performing, it seems that College agrees with this assessment. A new working group has been formed to investigate the problem, by holding a new set of meetings to decide if there are too many meetings. Future meetings will hopefully resolve once and for all the question of if there are too many meetings, a topic which also came up in meetings two years ago when they also tried to decide if there were too many meetings. It is thought a further set of meetings will decide on what action to take if it is concluded that there are, indeed, too many meetings, with a final set of meetings being responsible for the implementation of a meeting-reduction strategy.
Over the past week signs have appeared in most departments titled "DID YOU KNOW THERE IS A REVISED COLLEGE FIRE SAFETY POLICY?", accompanied by a picture with the caption "Jezebel (Imperial College Fire Engine)". Although those 'in the know' will realise that Jez isn't actually being used for College fire cover, from the poster it is quite easy to assume that she is. Of course, it could just be a clever ploy to get frightened members of staff to go to the fire safety presentation. Whilst this reporter obviously has the utmost faith in the capabilities of the vehicle, those of the crew leave a lot to be desired, as the accompanying photo shows.
(Yes, I realise we've already had a picture of Jez in the past two weeks, but this one is College's fault. Stop whining.)
College has created a new position of Pro Rector (Commercial Development), a role which will be filled by Mr Edward Astle from 1st December. Astle, who is an Oxford graduate and has an MBA from INSEAD, will "initiate, develop and deliver commercially exploitable collaborations nationally and internationally". Given the current state of the economy, his best bet may be to create the "Imperial College Sweat Shop" and put students to work on Nike shoes. The way things are going, that may be their only hope of employment and Astle could probably find similar work for some of his fellow MBA's at the same time.
Rumours that ICU has been running a sweat shop in its bars for years are wholly unsubstantiated.
Badminton > Football
In the midst of the flaming instigated by the more intellectually challenged members of the football club were a number of posts proclaiming ICUAFC to be the 'biggest sports club'. Being slightly suspicious of this 'fact', a number of conspirators had a quick look at membership numbers over the past four years. Their findings were quite shocking, at least for the football club: they are easily beaten by both ACC Dance and Badminton. Although they probably don't consider dancing to be a sport, Badminton has been played at the Olympics since 1992.
Football has also rather conveniently hit its membership target exactly for the past three years, the only ACC club to do so. Most clubs are under or over their targets every year, so getting precisely 90 members three years running is quite a feat.