When RAG's occupation of the Guilds Office began, it consisted largely of people and collecting tins.
The arrival of Jeremy, a motorised coin-sorter, was welcomed since it would mean fewer of those people would be needed to count the money raised, and those tins could be cleared away more rapidly.
Indeed, some students proposed Jeremy for President, although "Live!" are still awaiting confirmation as to whether or not he actually intends to stand for Farce! (now then, who's been playing with the auto-censor?).
When Jeremy was joined by a second machine, Jemima, this too was welcomed; indeed (and somewhat worryingly), Jemima was greeted by the assembled RAGsters with a resounding, "Phwoar!"
However, when Jeremy and Jemima were introduced to each other, the C&G Sports Officer issued some words of caution, exclaiming, "We are NOT mating them!"
But the fatal mistake appears to have taken place on January 12th, when the pair were not invited to the relaunch of ICU's Information and Advice Centre. While Union Officers were being reminded of where to send any students needing information leaflets on matters including birth control, it appears that back in the Guilds Office, the coin-sorters were demonstrating how desperately that advice was needed.
Late last night, Jemima's first brood came into the world. With the progeny containing two boys and two girls, all involved are hoping that coin-sorters are a sufficiently advanced species to realise the dangers of inbreeding.
Imperial College Researchers are divided on the subject. Many from the Faculty of Life Sciences suggested a study into the life cycle of coin sorters was needed, while those in Engineering seem to favour taking them apart. A post-graduate mechanical engineer commented that they were fairly certain they'd be able to put them back together.
The offspring have yet to be named; any suggestions (preferably 3 syllables long and beginning with "J") may be posted below.
Meanwhile, C&G Officers deny that this is the closest thing to a sex scandal that "Live!" can find this year.