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Guilds Internet Caf? Plot Uncovered

Mar 23 2005 13:20
Killer Rabbit
The City and Guilds Webmaster has taken a suspicious delivery of catering supplies
The first set of supplies for the new McGuilds outlet

This morning, Guilds webmaster Mr Piggott was summoned to Beit Quad to take delivery of a mysterious parcel, much to his bemusement as he allegedly had no recollection of ordering anything, and so the advice from the guilds office was, "If it's a suspicious package that ticks, redirect it to Beit Quad North Wing."

He returned around ten miutes later with an intriguingly large package, which was indeed addressed to "Mr Edward Piggott, Beit Hall" and once all the packing tape, brown paper and giant bubble wrap had been removed, the package was found to contain:

  • three red plastic squeezy ketchup bottles
  • three yellow plastic squeezy mustard bottles
  • two clear plastic squeezy sauce bottles
  • two hundred and four metal table forks
  • two hundred and four metal desert forks
  • two large wooden pepper mills

The delivery notice then said that 144 stacking cups, 144 white saucers and 120 plates will follow shortly.

Mr Piggott has denied that these items are all for use in persual of his previously-revealed sausage fetish, but has so far refused to comment on whether they are for use in a catering business venture.

When Beit Quad were contacted about the delivery, "-------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------."

In response to the events, Guilds President John Collins said, "Ooh, Giant bubble wrap! Save that for next year's Egg Race..."

"Live!" would like to wish McGuilds burger bars every success for the future and this journalist will be expecting regular free samples in return for glowing reviews.

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Discussion about “Guilds Internet Caf? Plot Uncovered”

The comments below are unmoderated submissions by Live! readers. The Editor accepts no liability for their content, nor for any offence caused by them. Any complaints should be directed to the Editor.
Mar 23 2005 13:23
 

If we're opening a cafe does this mean a) we get a dishwasher and b) i'm redundant?!

Mar 23 2005 13:25
 

Dear Beit

If you want it back, you'll have to pay for it.

love Guilds

Mar 23 2005 13:28
 

This must be stopped at once.

No one sought the permission of the sovereign governing body of Guilds- the Printer.

4. Sciv   
Mar 23 2005 13:30
 

what the fork?

5. !?!   
Mar 23 2005 13:31
 

And so the man with four hundred and eight metal forks is sat eating his lunch... with a PLASTIC fork!

Mar 23 2005 13:49
 

Dear potential investors,

The franchising opportunities of the McGuilds business are second to none. We here at the McGuilds head office (340 Mech Eng) believe that McGuilds will become the leading purveyour of greasy snacks in Imperial College within the next decade.

To take part in this unique opportunity, send a blank cheque (preferablly NOT through internal mail) to "Edward Piggott, CEO McGuilds, 340 Mechanical Engineering", and you will recieve your share certificates without delay (through the internal mail).

Edward Joseph Piggott

CEO McGuilds

(Not) an IC spin-out company

7. ARD   
Mar 24 2005 19:45
 

(Asisstamt Resident Dishwasher)

How does the redundancy of the resident dishwasher affect the poor assistant???

Or do I just get transferred to another post.

Can we save the bubble wrap for the stationary cupboard? A padded room would be a worthy investment.

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