This morning, Guilds webmaster Mr Piggott was summoned to Beit Quad to take delivery of a mysterious parcel, much to his bemusement as he allegedly had no recollection of ordering anything, and so the advice from the guilds office was, "If it's a suspicious package that ticks, redirect it to Beit Quad North Wing."
He returned around ten miutes later with an intriguingly large package, which was indeed addressed to "Mr Edward Piggott, Beit Hall" and once all the packing tape, brown paper and giant bubble wrap had been removed, the package was found to contain:
- three red plastic squeezy ketchup bottles
- three yellow plastic squeezy mustard bottles
- two clear plastic squeezy sauce bottles
- two hundred and four metal table forks
- two hundred and four metal desert forks
- two large wooden pepper mills
The delivery notice then said that 144 stacking cups, 144 white saucers and 120 plates will follow shortly.
Mr Piggott has denied that these items are all for use in persual of his previously-revealed sausage fetish, but has so far refused to comment on whether they are for use in a catering business venture.
When Beit Quad were contacted about the delivery, "-------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------."
In response to the events, Guilds President John Collins said, "Ooh, Giant bubble wrap! Save that for next year's Egg Race..."
"Live!" would like to wish McGuilds burger bars every success for the future and this journalist will be expecting regular free samples in return for glowing reviews.
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