The agenda for tonight's meeting includes two papers purporting to be proposed "by SAC". The first paper, "Acknowledgement of the Value of SAC", states that: "It is quite clear that SAC is really the only important committee in the Union. For this reason it is vitally necessary to ascertain our pompous importance... We are important and we’ve always been important. Its blatantly clear that we will continue to be important as we’re the ones who actually do fun and progressive stuff within our little community."
The paper resolves "To inform exec that we are better than them", and justifies proposed spending for handover activities on the grounds that any underspend "will only go to the cr*ppy executive next year, who’ll waste it on dodgy stuff."
The second paper proposed giving the incoming DP(C&S), Simon Matthews, "a nice big SAC (mandate)", stating "Many of us will not be here next year, but are here now. The Deputy President (Clubs & Societies) will be here next year (with a bit of luck – degree results pending), but isn’t here now. This situation blatantly requires some attention. This is best attended to in the order of mandates."
The suggested mandates are as follows:
1) To always wear a purple shirt and a polka dot bow tie when chairing SAC.
2) To wear a fancy dress chicken outfit for the whole of Freshers’ Fair.
3) That whenever he speaks in SAC he must preface his pronouncements with “simon says…”
4) To create SAC policy that SAC must ignore anything the Deputy President (Clubs & Societies) says if the Deputy President (Clubs & Societies) does not preface with “Simon says…”
This paper has raised suggestions that the incoming DP(C&S) should be mandated to do several extra things since someone currently linked to that position had enough free time to write these papers.
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