The Presidential race was set to be tough but, once the opposition had been made to disappear, it wasn't hard for opposition supporters to be beaten... to death. Next year the tireless dictatorship will resume with the whole electorate quaking in their shoes. Unfortunately our President elect isn?t quite old enough to pop his clogs just yet (but it?s pretty close).
- Robert Mugabe: 2,364 - ELECTED
- Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli: 2
Deputy President (Finance and Services)
Back by popular demand, our resident lovable fraudster has been elected on more false promises. Good job that Gordon didn?t get in though, better to cock our finances up on purpose than by accident.
- Gary Tanaka: 1,276 - ELECTED
- Gordon Brown: 629
Deputy President (Clubs and Societies)
Despite a sterling effort, good looks and charm didn?t quite work for Ms Kournikova this time, being closely beaten by outdoors veteran Ellen MacArthur. Keep that sports bra ready though dear!
- Ellen MacArthur: 985 - ELECTED
- Anna Kournikova: 924
Deputy President (Education)
Baby faced Aled was blown out of the water by Maverick in this resounding onslaught. George Galloway is still standing in Trafalgar Square recoiling from Mavericks jet wash as he disappears to patrol the middle east.
- Lt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell: 876 - ELECTED
- Aled Jones: 576
- George Galloway: 291
Deputy President (Welfare)
The victor in the Welfare election is no stranger to emergency situations. Loony Luna Lovegood was no match although Alan Davies' loveable fluffy hair made him a more formidable opponent.
- Fireman Sam: 765 - ELECTED
- Alan Davies: 682
- Luna Lovegood: 1/2
Katie's new ideas and good looks seem to have clinched the election for Felix Editor. Highly experienced Rupert Murdoch put up a brave fight and Piers Morgan's arrogant attitude did him no favours. Of course, it had nothing to do with Ms Price's involvement in Page 3.
- Katie Price: 658 - ELECTED
- Rupert Murdoch: 534
- Piers Morgan: 391
The following statement was released by ICU Returning Officer, Beaker, just before the results were announced:
"Thank you all for taking part in the elections, and being part of a record turnout. It really has been superb to be part of this election. Even though it has been hard work, I'm really glad we've had no major complaints as this has made my life so much easier."
Any similarities to candidates, living or dead, is completely intentional. I mean, unintentional. Ahem...
In all seriousness nearly 2,000 votes have been cast in the ICU Sabbatical Elections so far leaving you just over seven hours to have your say at imperialcollegeunion.org/vote before voting closes tonight.
Also, entries for this year's Live! Competition are coming in (not so) thick and fast. Email us your predictions and you will be in with a very high chance of winning a ticket to this year's Summer Ball. Entries are also due in before midnight!!!