Hullo there,

This week there really is very little to write about. Therefore...

Twelve Things One Learns From Being in France Twelve Days

1. The Rolling Stones have not been cool for ages and that Knopfler-fronted cheese-meisters Dire Straits are post-modern chic (courtesy of my new French pal, Gregory).
2. It is foolish for English people to import tea but no kettle (again ? Gregory 2003).


3. Bureaucracy after the French fashion does not exist in Britain. Depending on your point of view this is either because the chaps in Blighty are saving the rainforest or because British Civil Servants are mostly illiterate. The seriousness with which the French authorities take procedure comes as a shock. Word up to the guys at the international office here for rolling up red tape.


4. The Germans are really good at multitasking. One of my classmates, Marc, is the world champion at simultaneous smoking and eating.


5. I now know what happened to "The Krypton Factor". They took the cameras and silly tracksuits away and renamed it "Intensive French Classes".


6. Do not understand French caretakers when they swear as your room key breaks in the lock.


7. French caretakers when understood swearing will look sheepish and change language.


8. The French are under the misapprehension that British people idolise ex. Blair spin monkey and sometime journalists' friend Alastair Campbell.


9. I cannot understand swearing in Italian.


10. The French are more interested in David Beckham than Alastair Campbell.


11. "Super-joli" is different to "Super-sympas" but both are applicable to parks with lots of "petits oiseaux".


12. Avoid arriving anywhere on a Sunday. Caretakers will be at lunch, shops will be boarded up and there will be engineering work between Paddington and Reading.

As bonus information this week beer ordering vocab:

• "un serieux" 0.5 litres (about a pint)
• "un formidable" 1 litre (about a lot)
• "un giraffe" varies from establishment to establishment (about more than a lot)

I also point you in the direction of my new favorite thing on the interthingy http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song.

Be good...