During a not infrequent visit to the JCR this snowy morning for the former joy that was a top-notch, almost northern-esque greasy breakfast, a couple of things started to get to me, which is why I thought I would take this opportunity to vent some frustration.
Complaint 1 -Hash Browns
These bastions of potato-based yumminess used to be one of the highlights of the day, until they decided to downsize to the pathetic Tesco-type ones now available.
Complaint 2 -Staff
Gone is the efficiency of my 2nd year days when the staff knew what would be on my plate before I'd even picked it up. Now are the days where you have to perform an outrageous circus trick to even get the staff to notice your prescence; once your existance is noted, they will then quiz you about what is in front of their eyes. I know that the food may not be great but surely they can spot the difference between a hash brown and a piece of black pudding, even if one is undercooked and still brown and the other is burnt and black. This whole palava continues whilst your food gets cold and the grease congeals into a mush that could be used to keep the gear boxes of various historic vehicles running smoothly.
Complaint 3 -Suspicion
The smiley face that used to greet me each morning at the till has disapeared, now each day I am greated with an interogation as to what I may have hidden underneath the scrambled egg, or perhaps as to how many pieces of bacon I can surrepticiously sneak out under a miniture hash brown, all this being despite the fact I have being visiting the palace of grease and heart disease since my first year and have never been implicated in a plot to conceal inedible foodstuffs under overly-cooked foodstuffs.
Anyway, I could rant on, but I best not, so, back to breakfast. I shall go but who knows, if all these strange goings on continue I may be forced to go healthy on the world and take up having a bowl of cereal for that opening meal of the day, but then again, what are the chances of a displaced northener eating a healthy meal???