Somewhere amidst all the emails from System Administrator, IC Library and companies soliciting to increase the length of my penis, I have just received a piece of rather entertaining correspondence.
James Read, a most erudite member of the Medical School, recently received a bulk mail-out from Richard Walker, one of the current Sabbatical officers. Richard Walker would appear to sign his emails as follows:
Richard Walker Esq, Esteemed Deputy President Clubs & Socieities
I hope you enjoy James' reply to Richard Walker:
"Firstly please accept my apologies for contacting you out of the blue. Could possibly I trouble you to ask:
1. That you might want to check the way societies is being spelt on your outgoing messages.
2. Nowhere on the union website could I find the post of Esteemed Deputy President of Clubs & Societies. Is your job title really prefixed with "Esteemed" or are you really so insecure that you have just sneaked it in there to tell people you should command respect?
3. Are you really an Esquire or are you just being incredibly pretentious and using the title erroneously? (In Britain the title of Esquire is presently allowed to: the heir male of the younger son of a nobleman, the heir male of a knight, those who by long prescription can show their lineal ancestors were styled as Esquires, sheriff of a county, a Justice of the Peace or those styled in the Sovereign’s commission (who cease to hold the title when the office ceases), certain of the Sovereign's servants by reason of the office they bear, such as officers of arms, sergeants at arms, Companions, Commanders, Officers and Members of Orders of Knighthood and Chivalry, Sergeants at law, Queen's Counsel, Deputy Lieutenants and Commissioners of Lieutenancy, Commissioners of the Court of Bankruptcy, Masters of the Supreme Court, Royal Academicians; also persons to whom the Sovereign grants arms with the title of Esquire, persons who are styled Esquires by the Sovereign in their patents, commissions or appointments, and officers of and above the rank of Lieutenant RN, Captain in the Army and Flight Lieutenant.)
If you really do hold the title and your job description does indeed contain the word "Esteemed" then I am very sorry for contacting you in this manner (but could I just point out that the suffix as an abbreviation should always have a full stop after it). However, if you don't hold the title and the job title given to you does not contain the prefix "Esteemed" then please bear in mind you are representing a huge body of students here at Imperial College and having this attached to the bottom of emails sent on our behalf is frankly embarrassing.
Mr James Wilson Read"