The unhappy Felix camp have been making their views known, but failed to get an article past the editor of the new "Rover" section. Live! is proud to present the rejected article:
"It's the final week of Coffee Break and surprisingly for everyone, it seems like The Hoff is getting sentimental in his old age.
The Coffee Break email account is, as you would expect, bursting at the seams with angry letters. "Hoff", you scream, "why are you so mean? Sometimes it seems like you don't care about anybody except for yourself." Well, as per usual, you are wrong. The Hoff is a humanitarian at heart, and cares more for his fellow man than anything else. Apart from his Special Purpose of course.
As you are all probably unaware there has been a huge drama bomb let off in the Felix office. The great oppressor, Rupert 'Bourgeois' Neate – the so-called editor of Felix, has been exercising his executive powers, deciding that the best way to extend his penis and increase his self-worth would be to fire our beloved comrade, Mr. Vitali Lazurenko.
Comrade Lazurenko will go down in Felix history as a hero for us all. When The Great Revolution comes and the Felix staff finally rise against their oppressors, then Comrade Lazurenko will be the inspiration. In years to come, when the free writers of the Felix republic are gathered in dB's, generous helpings of the finest vodka will be raised to the skies and together we will remember our shared hero, Comrade Lazurenko.
Comrade Lazurenko, like the rest of us, was just a Man. But he was brave enough to fight for his beliefs - the same beliefs that we all share. The belief that a Felix writer should be free to write whatever they want, without the editor barging in every other minute demanding that somebody fixes His Page and His Mistakes. The belief that if a writer is hungover, then a certain kindness should be extended to them, man to fellow man. The belief that just because you win an election that more than half the college do not vote in, you are not better than anyone else.
Comrade Lazurenko’s crime was to just to exist. To the cruel Felix regime, that is enough. A free spirit is just another spirit to be crushed. Our friend takes the most exquisite of photographs; the establishment moans that somebody hasn’t put a one pixel border around his picture. We pour our time and our souls into producing the best work possible; they complain that they have to write a one hundred word editorial column. Together we try to give you the best paper that we can; Our Dear Leader moans that he broke the computer and we can’t fix it.
This small article has been slipped in whilst the editor's lazy eye was glancing elsewhere. Perhaps, it doesn’t mean much to the rest of you, but to the exploited peoples of Felix, this is our chance to strike back."
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