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Live! - Opinion

This article is an opinion piece and should be taken as such. It is highly likely to be biased, but either the article itself or the ensuing discussion will probably be entertaining. Live! takes no editorial line on opinion pieces.

Sabbs in Brief Spanner Theft

Sep 20 2006 17:38
The Dark Knight
RCSU-aligned Sabbatical Officers briefly stole the Guilds furry spanner last night.
Would you try and steal one of these?

Some time after 4pm yesterday afternoon a group of Sabbatical Officers, including DPEW Ben Harris and DPFS Jon Matthews, entered the Guilds office. Having consumed CGCU tea and coffee lovingly prepared by Guilds teaboy James Fok they made off with the new white tiger spanner.

Live! and the CGCU President later received a ransom demand, noting that the Spanner was stolen "while the incompetent Guilds President was in the office". Despite the status of tigers as an endangered species, the note threatened to cut off its tail if a ransom of £200 was not given to RAG. Which one of the dastardly RCS Sabbs was responsible for this note is not known, but as the DPEW is supposed to be the "fluffy" one we recommend that clubs keep their finances in order this year...

A Guilds raiding party entered Beit Towers 30 minutes later, cornering DPEW Ben Harris under a desk with the Tiger Spanner. A botched attempt at rescuing Harris resulted in Jon Matthews being attacked by the blind in his office, however he was eventually able to move the Tiger Spanner to a more secure location.

A second rescue attempt later in the evening saw the Spanner returned unharmed less than two hours after its initial capture, with the exact method of extraction unknown - Guilds President James Fok was heard babbling something about "walking through walls".

The Live! poll has still not managed to decide a name for the Spanner - Furry Fokker and "Dave" have both been in the lead in the last few days.

Readers are invited to donate to the WWF to help conservation work for tigers and other endangered species.

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Discussion about “Sabbs in Brief Spanner Theft”

The comments below are unmoderated submissions by Live! readers. The Editor accepts no liability for their content, nor for any offence caused by them. Any complaints should be directed to the Editor.
Sep 21 2006 00:31

It's a good job the sabbaticals are wasting time playing silly buggers.

I hope the electorate know how much they get payed for wasting time like this.

How about they get on with doing the job they were elected to do.

What an absolute joke, it's no wonder Imperial students have the pathetic reputation they do if their elected officers are going around playing stupid childish games when they should be focusing on stopping the college attempting to take over every aspect of the Union's existence.

Sep 21 2006 08:34

However ...

They first visited the Guilds office to look at the rearrangement James Fok was doing. They were there on "business" and took the opportunity to pinch it.

All the other activity took place in about 10 minutes *after* the end of the working day (given most of the sabbs are often in early and out late that doesn't mean much anyway).

It's perfectly possibly to do the job you were elected to do and still have a laugh - surely there must be some medical study that shows having a laugh reduces stress and makes you more productive?

Sep 21 2006 08:35

Not exactly sure why someone wanted to impersonate me but it appears to have happened.

Interesting comment but I didn't write it so if the editor could remove my name it would be greatly appreciated.

Many thanks.

Sep 21 2006 08:52

It's because everyone wants to be you Danny!

Changes made.

Sep 21 2006 12:50

Who is fluffier, Ben or the new spanner?

Nov 15 2006 15:50

To imposter:

Now that was a bit mean... Didn't your mummy ever tell you to be nice to people? Maybe you should go and sit in the naughty corner and consider what you have said. When you have made a full apology then you can have your ice cream and go to bed.

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Also In Random Rant

  1. Union review of the year
    20 Jun 06 | Random Rant
  2. Coffee Break - The Missing Article
    08 Jun 06 | Random Rant
  3. Bolt back from the dark knight
    15 Nov 05 | Random Rant

See Also

  1. Fok Planning Office Changes
    21 Aug 06 | Office Gossip
  2. Miners Left in the Dark
    18 Nov 05 | News
  3. ?We Have Bolt?
    03 Nov 04 | News

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