Some time after 4pm yesterday afternoon a group of Sabbatical Officers, including DPEW Ben Harris and DPFS Jon Matthews, entered the Guilds office. Having consumed CGCU tea and coffee lovingly prepared by Guilds teaboy James Fok they made off with the new white tiger spanner.
Live! and the CGCU President later received a ransom demand, noting that the Spanner was stolen "while the incompetent Guilds President was in the office". Despite the status of tigers as an endangered species, the note threatened to cut off its tail if a ransom of £200 was not given to RAG. Which one of the dastardly RCS Sabbs was responsible for this note is not known, but as the DPEW is supposed to be the "fluffy" one we recommend that clubs keep their finances in order this year...
A Guilds raiding party entered Beit Towers 30 minutes later, cornering DPEW Ben Harris under a desk with the Tiger Spanner. A botched attempt at rescuing Harris resulted in Jon Matthews being attacked by the blind in his office, however he was eventually able to move the Tiger Spanner to a more secure location.
A second rescue attempt later in the evening saw the Spanner returned unharmed less than two hours after its initial capture, with the exact method of extraction unknown - Guilds President James Fok was heard babbling something about "walking through walls".
The Live! poll has still not managed to decide a name for the Spanner - Furry Fokker and "Dave" have both been in the lead in the last few days.
Readers are invited to donate to the WWF to help conservation work for tigers and other endangered species.