The wonderful company, conversation and I think a little of the Warre 1970 port at the CGCA annual dinner were all the inspiration one member of the Wooden Horse needed to single handedly captured Davy during the wee hours of the night on 12th March. Davy, this time the violate one we're told, has been hidden well by the art of Chinese Whispers - a new technique invoked by Guilds this year.
So I guess you're all wondering how one guy - pissed off his face on the 96 Tablot - managed to kidnap this oversized novelty Davy Lamp. Well, as I have the lamp, I will illuminate you... get it? ILLUMINATE YOU... hahaha. Well what happened is this; I walked into the RSM building, borrowed a couple of pick axes from a sleeping miner and set to work on the concrete floor above the RSM office... two hours later, with a large headache and endless cups of tea spilt all over the floor, an over qualified IC security guard casually walks up and asks me what all the noise was about. Putting on my best Polish accent I deceived the guard into thinking I was an immigrant slave worker - satisfied enough not to question the Union policy on this, the guard left me be, another 2 hours later and I was in. I made good my escape by way of abseiling down the front of the mines building with Davy upon my shoulder. A couple of quick laps of Hyde Park as a diversionary tactic was all that was needed to swing off any lurking eyes before legging it back to college to find the first ear for the Chinese Whispers.
The ransom being delivered reads:
“Muhahahahahahahahahahaha!
The Wooden Horse demand £300 be paid to ICU RAG by the start of next term. They further demand the return of the Guilds blazers currently held in possession of the RSM mafia. The ransom will double should it not be paid by the deadline given. The Wooden Horse accepts one pint of blood donated in lieu of £1 ransom fee (upon presentation of blood donor certificate).
Muhahahahahahahahahahaha!
Love from the Wooden Horse"
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