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This article is an opinion piece and should be taken as such. It is highly likely to be biased, but either the article itself or the ensuing discussion will probably be entertaining. Live! takes no editorial line on opinion pieces.

The Wooden Horse strikes again

Mar 13 2008 08:43
The Wooden Horse
Miners left in the dark - again!
Ransom photo complete with today's newspaper

The wonderful company, conversation and I think a little of the Warre 1970 port at the CGCA annual dinner were all the inspiration one member of the Wooden Horse needed to single handedly captured Davy during the wee hours of the night on 12th March. Davy, this time the violate one we're told, has been hidden well by the art of Chinese Whispers - a new technique invoked by Guilds this year.

So I guess you're all wondering how one guy - pissed off his face on the 96 Tablot - managed to kidnap this oversized novelty Davy Lamp. Well, as I have the lamp, I will illuminate you... get it? ILLUMINATE YOU... hahaha. Well what happened is this; I walked into the RSM building, borrowed a couple of pick axes from a sleeping miner and set to work on the concrete floor above the RSM office... two hours later, with a large headache and endless cups of tea spilt all over the floor, an over qualified IC security guard casually walks up and asks me what all the noise was about. Putting on my best Polish accent I deceived the guard into thinking I was an immigrant slave worker - satisfied enough not to question the Union policy on this, the guard left me be, another 2 hours later and I was in. I made good my escape by way of abseiling down the front of the mines building with Davy upon my shoulder. A couple of quick laps of Hyde Park as a diversionary tactic was all that was needed to swing off any lurking eyes before legging it back to college to find the first ear for the Chinese Whispers.

The ransom being delivered reads:

?Muhahahahahahahahahahaha!

The Wooden Horse demand £300 be paid to ICU RAG by the start of next term. They further demand the return of the Guilds blazers currently held in possession of the RSM mafia. The ransom will double should it not be paid by the deadline given. The Wooden Horse accepts one pint of blood donated in lieu of £1 ransom fee (upon presentation of blood donor certificate).

Muhahahahahahahahahahaha!

Love from the Wooden Horse"

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Discussion about “The Wooden Horse strikes again”

The comments below are unmoderated submissions by Live! readers. The Editor accepts no liability for their content, nor for any offence caused by them. Any complaints should be directed to the Editor.
1. Pony   
Mar 13 2008 13:31
 

Is another trip to Paris in order?

2. Rider   
Mar 13 2008 13:36
 

How about Thailand?

Mar 13 2008 13:50
 

Can we send Tristan with it to Thailand after Guilds NO CONFIDENCE THE LITTLE BASTAD

Mar 14 2008 00:05
 

I hear that the RSM president has asked C&G to remove this article from live! on the grounds that it advertises how easy it is to break into the RSM office! Lolz

Mar 14 2008 01:00
 

hmm,

Clearly "a guildman" has no understanding of the threats that this action has thrown up. There, there go back to bed and let people deal with the situation. Although I am not involved and I don't know if the alligation by "a guildsman" is true I would say prudent thinking by the RSM president, Danny Hill. Long live RSM.

Now I wonder who A guildman - I don't think its that hard - three guesses anyone.

Maybe a poll on Live!

Mar 14 2008 10:01
 

Because of course the prudent course of action when your office is shown to be insecure is to try and silence the media, rather than fix the insecurity.

They should do something about being able to abseil down the front of the building too, that doesn't seem very safe.

Mar 14 2008 13:04
 

The miner clearly did go out to fix the problem. Breaking in again just shows how disrespectful the CGCU exec are. they are meant to be looking after them rather than constantly undermining them.

This just looks poor for guilds... yet again they have one job that the just can't do... look after their members.

Mar 14 2008 13:09
 

What does it have to do with the CGCU exec?

9. What?   
Mar 14 2008 13:47
 

Well said number 8

Simple - whoever in guilds chose to steal the mascot again - well done - because thats what the whole sodding idea is. "Let the games begin" are words that were exchanged after the last situation was resolved.

Its the miners who are disrespectful - by not being charitable - THE WHOLE THING IS A BIT OF FUN - TO RAISE MONEY FOR CHARITY the RSM obviously don't believe in charity - Grow up Danny you sad little man - pay for once - you are pathetic.

10. Danny   
Mar 14 2008 16:28
 

Number 9 - F**k Right Off!

I will not be paying the ransom....... I would much rather spend RSM money (most of which comes from industry sponsors) on events for its members... which we consistently do.... something that guilds tend not to!

I don't think major companies such as Rio Tinto, Shell and Anglo American want their money spent trying to reclaim the inviolate Davy.

Good Day young sir!

Mar 14 2008 17:09
 

You've cried wolf too many times old Sir - Who knows which one is inviolate - clearly the RSM take pride in being liars and charity haters! If I was chair of ICU RAG i would be having words with Danny.

Perhaps the children dying from cancer will take joy in the fact that Danny and his chums had fun on an orienteering expedition one summer weekend before they die.

Good afternonn Daniel

12. Seb   
Mar 14 2008 17:14
 

The idea, danny, is to collect from the students for the ransom, not start raiding the sponsorship.

Mar 14 2008 17:19
 

Danny

You are not required to spend your sponser money on reclaiming your Mascot. You are meant to hold a bar night and raise the proceeds there.

Alternatively you could get 300 pints of blood donated and 300 blood doner certificates with RSM names on them.

Alternativley you can not do anything till the dealine hits - upon which the Ransom becomes ?600

Should you not pay that either within the new deadline given - well - s**t - you lose you inviolate Davy and all you can do is call the police and report a theft - upon which they say - Pfff student prank - don't waste our time sonny

Have a nice day

Ps - The wooden horse does not associate itself with the tasteless comment above!

Mar 14 2008 17:57
 

Thats weird "the wooden horse" writes alot like a certain newly elected individual.

Mar 14 2008 18:29
 

hang on,

You seem to be insinuating that I wrote post 13. If you are the same hang on that posted on the No Confidence article then you were also insinuating I wrote a post on there as well. I would like to firstly make it clear that I did not write either of the posts you think I did. When I post on Live! I generally use my own name. Furthermore I do not speak for the Wooden Horse in this incident as it was a "single handed operation" by only one of its members.

I however will say that agree with the first two paragraphs of post 13.

I would also advise you not to keep on making the guesses as to who you think is posting on Live! because you will find more often than not you are wrong.

Mar 14 2008 18:34
 

I correct myself above - The other "hang on" was on this article not the No Confidence one, reffering to post 4. If you were to identify yourself, it would become apparant that you don't know me very well, anyone who even vaguely knows me will know that the word "LOLZ" is not one that appears in my vocabulary.

Mar 14 2008 19:27
 

Am I? Single handed operation. So are you offically stating as the DPFS elect that you were not involved.

Mar 14 2008 21:14
 

Dave, What makes you think Carter being DPFS elect has anything to do with this.

Besides you seem to have missed the point of his statements. They say that he did not write the posts you insinuated he did. They mention nothing to his partake in the raid.

Mar 15 2008 12:33
 

I assume you are talking about me. I?m banned from posting by Jenny president of the RCS. Although I have mention to a number of people the involvement of Chris.

Mar 15 2008 15:47
 

Wrong bloody Davy you tossers! Shows just how tarded you C&G bastards really are.

Stop f**king around with our stuff and sort yourselves out. Like do an event or something. Try and hold a bar night with more than 2 people turning up. You know, student things. Fun fun fun. Enjoy.

Mar 15 2008 16:54
 

Ok, just for the record the Old davy is inviolate whilst the shiny one violate. You have had multiple times to get it right. Remember Tristan unilaterally declaring that the old one was violate. As for everything else "LOLZ". Tata for now.

Mar 15 2008 17:46
 

Who cares which one you say is violate - you said it the other way round last time - plus you take the old one to bar nights and if that isn't the violate one then Danny sure has a lot to say for himself regarding the response he gave the wooden horse about stealing from events not offices!

RSM are selfish hippocrits - so you can f**k right off and try and find Davy if you want him back if your not willing to hold an event to raise the money for charity.

Mar 16 2008 15:21
 

Would just like to add, Guilds are c**ts.

Mar 16 2008 16:45
 

Thats the spirit Ol' Miner - Love it!

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