Yes, gentle reader, I was as amazed as you at the news of a Londoner in Wye, but when I went to investigate, my suspicions were confirmed by the presence of a full pint of beer in his hand for more than four seconds. This was definitely not a native, even under the camouflaging Wyezel Gummidge hat.
We have seen the rare species known as the Lesser-Spotted-Londoner in Wye before, though very infrequently. This can be put down to the intolerance of the species of anything rural, as their natural habitat contains very few tractors, horses, Land Rovers or Agrics. The home territory of the average Londoner will encompass at least one tube station and from previous experience we know that they are readily able to recite large chunks of the Underground map from memory. This ability to find their way gives out as soon as you get them away from tarmac and concrete and onto a proper dirt track, preferably between fields of livestock. Given the task of guiding a party of students back from the Compasses after dark, a Londoner would invariably plough through hedges, ditches and barbed wire, finally coming to rest in a snoring heap in the middle of the road. On some occasions this can be judged as forgivable as our own dear president generally follows the same route after a pint or ten.
The Londoner in question was the only one spotted during Cricket Week by the Fresher girlies of the Performing Arts Society, who had been trying to entice various members of the South Ken subspecies into Wye throughout the year with promises of beer and a floor to kip on. These generous offers were spurned in favour of a concrete landscape and a Summer Ball with a puny fairground, even when the Union was offering free transport to our splendid Commem Ball.
When the self confessed ?Random Londoner? was approached, he had this to say for himself, ?What are you planning to do with that photo??. To some Wye students, the elusive Londoner has gained Loch Ness monster status, in that they won?t believe that you?ve seen one without photographic proof, thus the experienced Londoner spotter should a carry a camera at all times. This must be a good camera, as you will never persuade sceptics with a blurry photo. The picture shown above, will soon be winging its way towards a fraud detection lab in order to check that the Wyezel hat and the Wye Beer Tent haven?t been superimposed onto a picture of a Londoner in his natural habitat.
Anyway, happy Londoner spotting, gentle reader and remember: ?All roads lead to Wye, people just travel along them the wrong way sometimes.?
Note to Londoners: ?We?re from Wye and you?re all?? um? silly people.